Bowmasters character guide: All the archers you could ever want

I don't know much about archery in real life, meaning if there's an apocalypse that leaves us having to hunt food without firearms, I won't be much help. But I've always loved archery in comics, movies, and video games, which is one of the reasons I love Bowmasters.

The game's dark humor and silly gore (if there is such a thing) help a lot too. Most of all, I just want to collect all the different characters and put them all through their paces, even if that means they'll all end up dying bloody deaths dozens of times over. C'est la vie, right?

A few new ones were added to the mix in a recent update, meaning there are now more options than ever for your arrow-shooting pleasure. Here's the entire list of Bowmasters in one handy character guide.

Update 08/29/17  Robin: hero in tights

Weapon: Arrow

Only the most famous archer in literary history. Or a reasonable facsimile, anyway.

 

Mr. Gorskiy: the lucky one

Weapon: Flag

But you should see the other guys ...

 

Arnold: true survivor (unlock with 3,000 coins)

Weapon: Tomahawk

Kind of like Rambo, but not.

 

Julius: greatest athlete (unlock with 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Champion's Spear

I don't think that's what you're supposed to do with a javelin, but I'm not telling him that.

 

Kacey Rich: top streamer girl (unlock with 7,000 coins)

Weapon: Gamepad

Not just a keyboard warrior after all.

 

Ron Etienne: poker champion

Weapon: Magic Card

Gambit, eat your heart out.

 

Fei Li: Chinese bowmaster

Weapon: Firework Arrow

Because Hawkeye wasn't the first person to invent a 'Splodey Arrow.

 

Bad Girl: really bad (unlock with 10,000 coins)

Weapon: F1 Grenade

I mean, she's telling you up front. Looks a little like a DC Comics character you might know.

 

Terrance: great canadian lumberjack (unlock with 10,000 coins)

Weapon: Chainsaw

He's a lumberjack and he's okay.

 

Raymonde: queen of the sky (unlock with 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Propeller

Ironically, I've always been scared of propellers, but only when I'm on a puddle jumper.

 

Claus: the punisher of naughty players (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Snowball

He sees you when you're sleeping. 

 

Thor: god of thunder

Weapon: Mjolnir

I thought this guy was replaced by a lady ...

 

Ice Lord: Trickster god (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Frozen Spear

Something tells me this guy might have beef with the previous character on this list.

 

Corey Thunderstring: three-string warrior

Weapon: Axe Guitar

Because you were told nobody wants to be Peter Criss.

 

Neko: normalest Japanese schoolgirl (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Kunai

Wait, do they really have tails?

 
Jeremy: the drunk master ($3.99)

Weapon: Trash can

Not too drunk to fight, though. 

Shark: sad dance king (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Poseidon's Trident

Used to have a partner, but that guy had to go off and get famous.

 

Anonymous: the one of Legion (unlock with 7,000 coins)

Weapon: Protester's sign

Also good with a keyboard.

 

Varg Blackburn: jobless firefighter (unlock by watching 15 videos)

Weapon: Molotov Cocktail

Perpetuating a negative stereotype.

 

Soldier: super killer (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Sword

Made for this.

 

Shovel Demon: and his own slave (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Shovel Demon

And so on, and so on ...

 

Maestro: the one who boils (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Bottle of acid

Not 100 percent who he's supposed to be, frankly.

 

Chang Wu King: the glorious leader (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Unicorn

The reason this game isn't on the North Korean App Store.  They changed it -- Chang Kim King no longer! 

 

Leonidas: the King of Sparta (unlock with 7,000 coins)

Weapon: Spear

THIS ... IS ... ARCHERY!

 

Mime: silent assassin (unlock with 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Baguette

Must be a day old baguette, given its deadliness.

 

Mike: First division player (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Burning Ball

Hits you harder than a Leonard Fournette stiff-arm.

 

Dr. Sick: mad scientist (unlock with 3,000 coins)

Weapon: Syringe

There's one in every crowd.

 

Fernando: Slayer of the enemies (unlock with 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Turtle Shell

Angriest plumber ever.

 

Jim: most skilled scout (unlock with 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Burning Marshmallow

Be prepared ... for pain!

 

D'evourer: he is come in peace (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Alien probe

In hindsight, his name should have been a tip-off.

 

Y: the master of woob-woob-woob (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Dubstep grenade

Makes you twice as mad when you lose to him.

 

Cyberstar: fight for users (unlock for 7,000 coins)

Weapon: CD-R

State of the art, about 25 years ago.

 

King Octopus: Sleeper of the bottom (unlock with 7,000 coins)

Weapon: Electric jellyfish

Never seen one walk on two legs, but hey.

 

Reddish: mentally unstable assassin (3rd day reward)

Weapon: Katana

Also look like a comic book character. Some guy with a really smart mouth and ugly face.

 

Old Man: ...captain Old (unlock for 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Swordfish

Like a furious Gorton's Fisherman.

 

Hipster: was hipster before it was cool (unlock for 5,000 coins)

Weapon: Selfie Phone

He's wrong, but you knew that already.

Tanithmetil: gorgeous elf king (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Magic Arrow

Looks hardly a day past 230. 

 

Vlad: the noble earl (available in chest roulette)

Weapon: Aspen pike

He's come to suck blood and take names. 

 

Mr. Overlord: the incontrovertible dominant (available in chest roulette) 

Weapon: Fluggegelieben

We'll let this one speak for itself. 

 

Betty: effective consumer (unlock for 12,000 coins) 

Weapon: Watermelon 

Her aim is as strong as her appetite. 

 

Penny: "Top 1 selfie" nominee (unlock for 20,000 coins)

Weapon: Pooppy

Definitely not camera shy. 

 

Barbara: awesome cat lady (unlock for 12,000 coins) 

Weapon: "Mister Fluffy" 

Your least favorite neighbor.