Crap of Defense

I'll start this one with a quote from iFun4all that was in the promo e-mail they sent me a few weeks back. ”Games developer and publisher iFun4all is quick to expand his portfolio of game series in most bizarre way one could think of. They’ve created game so bad that the best title producers could think of was Crap of Defense. To achieve such horrible quality company CEOs limited the budget to equivalent of 500 Russian Roubles and tried to combine remote work of “cost effective” workers worldwide.”

Fortunately for us, and particularly me (I had to review it!), the game is not crap, it is really quite fun. Crap of defense is a fairly simple game, with you, the tank, set up in the bottom corner with the task of stopping the enemy soldiers from passing your defense line. There are multiple types of soldiers with different speeds and hit points, but they all die the same… by the hands of your exploding tank blasts. There are also multiple powerups and exploding goodies to help you out along the way, but the primary method of destruction is your tank.

With only one gun to worry about, the controls are incredibly simple. By tapping on the screen, you power up you blast, and by letting go, it fires. When power ups appear, all you have to do is touch them and they are used. With these simple controls, you kill as much as you can on the battlefield before you lose.

The game consists of a 24 level campaign mode and an endless mode… along with three difficulty levels for each. The game, like any other game, gets progressively harder throughout, but while the enemies get tougher, your tank levels up and shoots a bigger blast. The difficulty curve, in my opinion, is very fair, and kept me wanting just a bit more at the end of every level.

The standout feature in Crap of Defense, oddly enough, is the "so crappy they're fun" graphics. The game, from the menus to the game itself, looked like it came from the mind of an elementary school kid. Everything is composed of what looks like paper cutouts, from the enemy soldiers to the explosions on the battlefield. 'Z's are used instead of 's's (killz), and 'r's are typed backwards throughout, which I would usually find overbearing, but in this case works well.

While I don't see Crap of Defense winning many game of the year awards, I do think that it is a top notch time waster with a style of its own. There's a ton of gameplay available, so it will certainly keep you busy for a long time. I'd love to see some sort of tank upgrade options in future updates, but the game is definitely worth the $2 as is. It'll make you way happier than the two packs of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Nuggets I am craving right now.